Your children are not your children

Recently there has been lot of discussion going on about parenting.. and home schooling... education system... blah.. blah... blah....

whatever be it.. we must treat humans as humans.. and not an object of experimentation... the present generation fathers & mothers are giving too much of attention to thier kids.. and the kids are pampered a way more than they should actually deserve.. in a way it is not good for both the ends..

Here are somethings which i feel should be given attention when dealing with kids...

If you ask me.... how do i know all this... i am father of 400 children :P dont ask me how???


Punishment.... do we actually need these.... even as grown ups.. do we feel better or change for better if we are made to feel worse by getting punished... definitely i dont... i actually hold grudge or take revenge on someone who tries to punish me.. and dont go on the betterment path... As parents... teachers.. everyone must understand... giving punishments is no way going to help the children... rather it creates a distance.. and fear amongst them...


Pointing out.... never point out the name of children for any mistake ... dont relate the name with the activity..... just comment on whatever action which is not desirable at the moment... at the same time.. dont over generalise the mistake of the kids.. it is because of parents.. and teachers.. the children fall into a impression.. that "I am always like that :-( " i am saying it loud.. this is very very crucial ..... all of you who now say.. that " I always mess up" think back once... it must have been someone who dumped this into your mind...



Questioning... i watched this many times.. some parent ignore when something the child questions ... or parents getting annoyed if the child asks something repeatedly and when they dont have an exact answer.... this is somethign to do with the ability of a person to answer to kid and also the interest taken from the parental side.. alright.. why blame parents alone.. even the teachers for that matter...

if we dont know something.. we must admit that first to child... and also give assurance to see if they can also find something on it... :D i am sure it is fun.... have figured out so many things in life...

this way we encourage the " reason for thinking" ability in the kid... right from childhood... which is essential.. instead of going .. "that is the way it is"

Also if you know somethign.. dont just give a blunt answer.. rather ask the kid to research and let them find their own solutions... may be you tweak them to your response.. or god knows.. you accept their findings too...

Too often we give our children answers to remember rather than problems to solve.
--- Roger Lewin

Dont expect.... lastly.. dont expect the kid to meet your expectations... rather... if you are really concerned.. you go and meet thier expectations... this is beautifully expressed in one of the Kahllil Gibran poem..... each and every line in this poem has got so much of importance....

Here you go..

On Children
Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,

For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday


Final word... even though we read lot of books, articles... i re-iterate the first point.. treat them as children.. not an object of experimentation... or a successor of your thoughts... let them explore it thier own way....